Dear Store Manager,
When you put up a sign that says "Pumpkins 3 for $13" when I get to the check out and you want to charge me more don't get mad at me. If you want to charge "Pumpkins 2 for $13" by all means do it just make sure that your signs say what you mean.
Dear Bleach Blond chain smoking bubble head fluffing your hair is not a secret sign that it is OK to pull out in front of me when I am going 60 miles an hour down the Highway.
Dear VT's THANK YOU so much for lunch. I really truly enjoyed it and am looking forward to our dinner and a movie night.